So You Thought You Had Overcome Your Sin…

Temptation is a brightly lit Christmas tree filled with the uncanniest of beasts lurking amongst the branches within. Beautiful and consuming. Brightly lit to blind the eye. So much so that you think you’ve overcome the burden of sin and the lusts of life and flesh. How quickly I am humbled to remember I have not. How quickly I fall to my flesh. How quickly I harden my heart to my hearts greatest desire for life. How quickly I forget my need for my beautiful savior. How quickly I fall and find comfort amongst the thorn filled earth. Forgetting which way is next and becoming stagnant on the path that leads to life.

“But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.”

James 1:5 NASB

I was startled this morning to find myself unworthy before my God. Not startled that I was but startled that I forgot.

In reading this passage I wept because I was reminded that even in my worst sin and calloused heart He still meets me without reproach. He is not disappointed or disdained. He does not harshly hold things against me. He generously gives. He gives me life, love, and wisdom. He makes my path straight, he smooths the ground for my weak and feeble body. He tells me what to do next and with each step. And the truth is He shouldn’t. He should turn from me and often I want Him to because I find so much contempt within myself. Still He doesn’t and still He fights for me.

No matter how many times I turn from Him, He meets me with a smile and a hug that melts away all my greatest fears. My fear of being unworthy, being unloved, being sad, being not enough. And He reminds me I am worthy, loved, more than enough. And with each sorrowful tear, He wipes them up and looks me in the eye to say “I see you, let me help you find your way.” Good and gentle He finds me, and He always finds me and takes me to the brightest and most well lit tree. One surrounded by choirs of angels that sing the purest of songs so that even the beasts within are transfixed on the King of Kings.